


Selfish

by angel1972



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 08:30:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2844608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel1972/pseuds/angel1972
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a part of Natasha that felt as if she would never be worthy of Steve, but she'd be damned if she were to give up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Selfish  
> Author: angel1972  
> Recipient: jinglebuckys   
> Characters/Ship: Steve, Natasha, Steve/Natasha  
> Summary: There was a part of Natasha that felt as if she would never be worthy of Steve, but she'd be damned if she were to give up.  
> Warnings: None  
> Disclaimer: The characters being used are the property of Marvel, and are being used without their express permission. No copyright infringement was meant, and no profit was made.

_At some point you got to get mad and say eff it and start doing things for yourself, being selfish sometimes is not always a bad thing. Unknown_

She got home late from her mission, and Steve was already asleep. The apartment they shared was nearly silent: the tick tock of an an old-fashioned grandfather clock provided a soundtrack as she went about getting dressed for bed. Everything, right down to the nails on her toes felt heavy with exhaustion. Muscles ached as she debated whether to even brush her teeth or not. 

But even as her body felt like lead, her mind refused to pause, refused to rest. The mission had served as a reminder of the bad old days when she was young, and was taught to think of herself as nothing more than a weapon. Like an old newsreel her past played across her mind's eye adding to her exhaustion, and making her doubt why she was here.

Here in this apartment, with this good man who deserved nothing but good things.

Natasha shook her head, before pausing at the doorway. For a brief moment she was frozen in place. All she could do was stare at his peaceful, beautiful sleeping face.

And even as she wanted to dive head first under the covers, to be surrounded by strong arms, to breathe in his scent, she can't seem to get her feet to work. It's times like this when she was alone, and tired and feeling vulnerable that the creeping vines of doubt spread from the tips of her toes up her body and around her heart.

Love was foolish.

Love was weakness.

Love would get you killed.

These were the things she was taught as a child. And for the longest time she believed them to be true, and held onto them as if they were gospel. She took her emotions, and her heart and buried them deep, deep, down somewhere past her toes, somewhere no one would ever think to look.

She never expected to meet someone like Steve. That stubborn man who dug, and dug until he found her heart, and cradled it to his chest as if it were something precious. 

He made her feel, but more importantly he made want to feel. 

She bit her lower lip, and relished briefly the physical sting of teeth digging into flesh. There was a part of her that still wanted to run, a small voice that told her she didn't deserve this happiness, that she didn't deserve Steve. 

But she was a selfish woman, and she was in love.

'Nat?' his voice was thick with sleep. How long had he known she was standing there staring at him, she wondered. 'You coming to bed?'

He lifts the covers in invitation, and without a second thought, she dives right under, and into his embrace. 

'That bad?' he asked with a tired chuckle. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. 

Not trusting her voice, she merely nodded against his chest, and pulled herself closer to him. Her face was flush against his chest, and she took comfort in the thumping of his heart. 

'I'm not going anywhere. There's nothing to fear, whatever happened on your mission doesn't matter, you're safe here.'

'I know,' Natasha finally said. 'But the things he said. It was like he could read my mind, read every doubt that I had, read every sin I committed. If you knew . . . If you truly knew . . . '

'I know what I need to know. And I love you, never forget that,' Steve said. He rubbed gentle circles on her back.

'But . . .'

'But nothing. I was a punk from Brooklyn with more health problems than sense, who thought I could fight my way out of everything even though I could barely punch my way out of a paper bag. But someone believed that deep down there was a good man, and I was given a second chance. I believe the same thing about you, Natasha: there's a good woman inside of you.' Steve said. His voice a low rumble that vibrated through her whole body. 

'Steve . . . ' Natasha wanted to argue against him, wanted to tell him that there was nothing good about her, and that deep down there was nothing but blackness. But she couldn't, and more importantly, she wouldn't. So instead she held him tight.

'I love you too, Steve.'

'I know, you're my girl, and I'm a selfish man. I plan on keeping you all to myself.'

And what possible counter-argument could she make against that? 

None.

She was going to hold on to Steve for as long as she could.

She was going to love him and cherish him for as long as she drew breath.

Because she was a selfish woman and she was in love.

END


End file.
